Hated Silence
by Galaticx
Summary: Kotaro is a ninja for hire. He has no clan, no family, no friends; he has nothing but his work. No one has ever heard his voice. Everyone wants to know what keeps the young ninja from speaking. When pulled into the war he meets another ninja named Sasuke Sarutobi. Using Kotaro's journal, Sasuke learns so much about the other. AU, Yaoi, OOC
1. Chapter 1

**Hated Silence**

Summary: Kotaro is a ninja for hire. He has no clan, no family, no friends; he has nothing but his work. No one has ever heard his voice. Everyone wants to know what keeps the young ninja from speaking. When pulled into the war he meets another ninja named Sasuke Sarutobi. Using Kotaro's journal, Sasuke learns so much about the other. AU, Yaoi, OOC

Kotaro sighed, pulling the neck of his armour up further to hide the mass of scars contrasting against his pale-as-snow skin. The sigh was not an audible sound, just merely a sharp exhale of breath. The ninja pulled the visor of his helm back over his eyes, hiding them from the world once again. Another out take of air and the redhead continued on his way to the castle of his new employer.

In all truth he didn't want this job. He wanted to be a ninja with a clan, not an outcast. If he was with a clan, he wondered, would he be accepted? He wasn't a normal person. No, not in the slightest… He was an outcast of society. No one liked him. No one wanted him. The only thing that was desirable about him was his efficient skill as a ninja. As soon as he lost his ability to do that, he'd be abandoned by all society and down would come all his hopes of a normal life.

Nearing the castle of Ieyasu Tokugawa, the ninja's heart sunk further into despair. He was being dragged into a war that he did not want to deal with. There were very few things that he feared on the battlefield and a war-waged, blood covered, body littered battlefield was one of them. The man that was the cause of this war a sadistic bastard, that Kotaro knew for sure.

"Ah, Kotaro, you're here!" A sudden voice snapped the redhead out of his thoughts. He turned around towards the voice to find his employer standing there. Ieyasu seemed awfully cheery for a man in a war. The ninja nodded towards the other in acknowledgment and in greeting. The samurai put an arm around the younger male's shoulders and lead him inside the castle.

"I'm sure that you would like to meet the others. They are all nice people, every single one of them. Sometimes they may seem a little different, but then again that's the good thing about them." The raven talked on, but Kotaro's thoughts wandered away until they reached the room that was their destination. Everyone was introduced to the ninja. There wasn't anything that he found too particularly interesting, except the ginger-haired ninja named Sasuke Sarutobi. He seemed different from all the other ninja that Kotaro had ever met. And this time the meaning of different was in a good way.

The redhead was offered a seat next to the ginger. He reluctantly took it. The older ninja looked over at him, saying a hello. Kotaro merely nodded in response. Just because he was to work with them did not mean he had to be friendly. Becoming bored as the time passed, the redhead found interest in the gauze he had wrapped around his hand. In his bored stated he decided that he needed to do something and changing the old gauze was a perfect excuse. He unwrapped the white bandage with great skill, his slightly feminine hands gently removing it. As he reached the end of removing it completely there was a large splotch of red from the blood that had seeped from the cut across the palm of his hand.

With the other focused on something, Sasuke carefully looked the younger over. He wore light armour that protected him well as little skin was visible. The fabric around his neck was slipping with each movement, unknown to its wearer. The soft, silken cloth fell down completely, revealing the previously unseen neck. A soft gasp escaped Sasuke's mouth as his eyes located the giant mass of scars around the ninja's neck. It looked as if someone had taken a butcher knife to the soft, snowy skin.

Upon feeling eyes laid upon him, Kotaro raised his unseen gaze up and looked at the perpetrator. The ginger knew he had been found out and quickly averted his eyes to across the room, acting like he had found interest in Kasuga's boobs. A soundless scoff escaped the redhead in amusement.

Sasuke looked back over at the ninja after he returned to his work. His honey-colored eyes found the scars again. The sight saddened him. Seeing the once flawless skin covered in so many scars. Who could do that to such a beautiful person? Wait… beautiful? Did he just call Kotaro beautiful?

No, no, no, no, Sasuke! You do not like men! You like big-breasted blonde Kunoichi. You do not like young, flat-chested, redheaded ninja! Bad Sasuke, bad!

Day turned to night and Kotaro was beginning to become very tired. It was becoming a struggle just to keep his eyes open and his head up right. If only he could talk… then he could ask what room he'd be staying in, or if he even got a room. His thoughts slowed as fatigue took its toll. He slumped over a bit, nearly loosing all ability to stay up. About another half hour passed before Ieyasu finally took notice to Kotaro's condition and led him to his room.

A few hours passed before Sasuke, too, felt tired. It was well about midnight, the moon high up. The ginger excused him from the rest of the men that were still awake and talking. He moved over to where Yukimura was struggling to stay awake.

"Boss, you should head off to sleep." The ninja advised. The brunette looked up at him, shocked by the sudden voice. After his slow mind processed everything he finally nodded in understanding. The two then went their own ways to their rooms. Sasuke was halfway to his room when he suddenly remembered something important.

Ieyasu had said that he and Kotaro were to be sharing a room.

A smirk made its home on Sasuke's face. Perfect. Now he could pry around and see if he could learn anything about the other ninja. If he was lucky he could find a journal or two. He'd be the only person to find out all the secrets of the known but yet unknown ninja. Maybe he could figure out why there was a giant mass of scars at the base of the redhead's neck.

He was silent with entering the room. Most ninja were light sleepers; it would not be a good idea to wake the other. Soft breaths escaped the redhead, barely audible to Sasuke. Carefully he moved over to the younger ninja's bags that he had brought along. He dug trough the bags, finding a worn-out journal that had obviously made its way through a lot. The ninja moved over to his side of the room and sat down on his futon. He opened up the journal reading the entries.

**To be continued**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hated Silence **

_I have decided that I should keep a journal now. My previous employer, Matsunaga Hisahide, has taken something of great importance from me. My voice. Damnit, how could he do this? For the longest time he actually seemed to care, unlike everyone else. Gods was I wrong. That man will pay for what he has done to me. Now I shall never be able to speak again._

_If anyone is to find this journal after I have passed and I have been long forgotten, I wish that someone would know what I could not have told anyone. Matsunaga Hisahide ripped my voice box from my throat, using nothing but his bare hands and a butcher knife. It was not a necessary thing. I had done nothing but give him what I thought would have been a good plan. He had not had one at the time so I figured to advise him. "Know when to hold your voice." That was the only thing heard before he launched his attack._

_I had spent near four years working under him. He was not the nicest but we always managed to get along, until this incident however. I cannot look at myself in the mirror anymore without these memories returning. _

_- Kotaro Fuma, age 18_

_I figured now that probably by the time I die I would have not shown anyone my face. I wish for someone to know what I have hidden from the world. My eyes, what I wish to hide from the gaze of everyone, are not matching. One is a deep jade green, my right eye, and the other is an icy blue as if hell has frozen over the world we know. The left, blue, is without pupil, the black part of your eye. _

_Originally, when I was but a child both of my eyes were the same. But one day something happened. A blizzard, harsh and uncaring, blew across the land I once called home. I knew this was not a regular blizzard for it was nothing like the ones before. The wind was harsher, the snow was colder, and the color was the same icy blue as my eye is now. Everything was so different. I realize now how stupid I had been. The blizzard was obviously the work of something supernatural._

_A single snowflake flew into my left eye and that is when everything changed. There was a sudden, freezing yet searing pain where the snow had landed. I rushed inside to see what was happening. The sight I received was terrifying. The snowflake had landed dead center of my pupil and was beginning to stretch and expand across my eye. The snow soon covered my entire iris, changing it from green to blue._

_But that was not the end._

_Day after day, there were odd things happening. I could see the future far ahead. I could see the truth of anyone that dared lock eyes with mine. Due to everything had had happened to me I was dubbed 'cursed' and chased out of my home._

_This started my life as a ninja for higher. _

_- Kotaro Fuma, age 19_

Sasuke read over only the first two entries before finding it difficult to continue. Normally he would have no problem with reading someone's personal journal about his or her life. However the entries that Kotaro wrote proved to be too much. The ginger could feel the hurt that was placed into every word. Everything that the ninja described tugged at Sasuke's heart. He put the journal where it belonged and went to sleep.

At the first mark of dawn Kotaro awoke. He barely rested, which was a common feeling. He looked around the room he was in, an old bad habit that he found hard to break. The ninja's covered eyes rested on his roommate. The ginger's hair poked out from under the covers in various places. Seriously, the guy's hair was terribly messy.

Kotaro figured that since the other ninja was still asleep, the others wouldn't be awake for a bit. The redhead reached over to his bag and dug out his journal. He began writing various notes and such on one of the pages in another language. Once finished he carefully closed the worn notebook and placed it where it belonged. Another moment passed before he was bored again. He figured that there was nothing better to do so he began reading a book that he had brought along.

_The beast's roar broke across the dismay land, destroying the silence. It's giant, slobbering maw lowered quickly as if a snake striking it's venerable prey. The jaws snapped shut around Oki's body, crushing the bones easily. Life slipped from the kistune's body as- _

"KOTARO~"

The ninja cringed and dropped the book, loosing his page. He looked at the perpetrator. Tsuruhime. Of course it was she, because she obviously had nothing better to do than stalk the redhead. It was just Kotaro's luck to end up working for a man who was allied with his stalker.

He was just getting to the good part of the story and **_that_** had to interrupt. The redhead stood and pushed past the brunette girl, escaping her for a short time. The call, of course, woke Sasuke up. He sighed as the oracle jumped up, giggled, yelled something about her 'twilight ninja', and then proceeded with her stalker-ness. Sasuke waited a bit before finding the strength to once again take Kotaro's journal and read the entries.

_I have long dreamed of having a family. I have wanted nothing more than to have someone who cares about me. Ever since my father and mother passed, I have been an outcast. I would give near anything to have a mate._

_However, there are always problems for me._

_I'm a dragon, something usually not taken well to. I will probably have to find another dragon to be my mate. Another problem is that a do not want a dragoness I want another male. Think what you want, this is the truth. I want a dominant male dragon for I would, without a doubt, be submissive._

_Why does my life have to be so complicated?_

_Kotaro Fuma, age 19_

Sasuke skipped through the entries after reading that one. He wanted to see if the redhead ever found a lover. He came across the entry from earlier that morning. He studied the language. After a few moments he recognized it. The entry was written in Chinese. Luckily, Sasuke had learned quite a bit of it before.

_Yesterday I met a ninja by the name of Sasuke Sarutobi. He seems to be different from everyone else I have met. Yet, I cannot tell if this is a good thing or not. He is friendly, something I do not know how to react to. I wish that I could talk to him. He seems like he might be someone that I could befriend. If I could speak, that is._

_How childish of me to think that someone would become friends with _**_me_**_. To everyone I am a social outcast, a mute, and a monster. I hate it. What is it that makes me believe that he is different? _

_Just let those dreams slide away, Kotaro. They will never come true. All you're doing is hurting yourself with the thoughts of having friends. Let it go already! They will never happen._

_**They will never happen…**_

_**Never…**_

_**Never…**_

_**Oh, gods…**_

_-Kotaro Fuma, age 22_

Sasuke looked at the last entry with sorrow filled eyes. He looked at the page closely. There were watermarks on the paper. Had Kotaro been crying when he wrote this? The thought saddened the ginger even more. That just wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that everyone judged someone so sweet for what they feared about him. They saw Kotaro as a 'monster' because of his afflictions that he had no control over.

Then Sasuke confirmed it.

He would make everyone see Kotaro for what he truly was.

They would see Kotaro as the sweet and adorable man he was, whether they liked it or not.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hated Silence**

Days passed since the last time Sasuke had read his roommate's journal. The ninja had been constantly writing in it every moment he received and always had it on his person. Sasuke was beginning to wonder if he wrote in that book because it made him feel better, like it was his way of getting things off of his chest since he couldn't talk to anyone. It was good that the redhead had a way to vent, if it really was like that, however, the ginger was starting to get a little too curious about what was being written in that small notebook.

The ginger sat down on the edge of the walkway outside, it was early morning and very few people were awake, and the ones that were up and about were ninja. The ninja of the Sanada corp. were always awake; they had a job to do after all. Every now and then someone from his faction would come by, passing on greetings to Sasuke as he sat there. What he didn't know was that he looked like he was waiting for something, or someone, as he just sat in place, unmoving as he hatched his plan to get his hands on that precious book.

**XxX**

Kotaro walked along the small catwalk outside the castle, thinking about the plans for the day. Ieyasu said that there weren't any missions to be completed that day, a rare thing. That meant that the ninja had a whole day to do what he wanted. Days like that never ended well. He'd read for a bit before finding that book was finished, and it was still too fresh in his mind to reread. Then, maybe, he's draw or write an entry or two in his journal. However, then he'd look back in that small beaten book, finding things he'd rather forget, like the 'incident'.

As the redhead thought, he rounded the next corner, stopping unconsciously in his tracks. He stood for a moment or two before his sleepy mind registered why he stopped. Sitting not too far up ahead was Sasuke Sarutobi. The silent mercenary contemplated whether to turn around or to join the other ninja. He may not ever admit it to anyone, but the redhead really did think that Sasuke was attractive… but that constantly made everything even more difficult.

There was only one person before that Kotaro had ever been with… and it did not end well. The man was kindhearted and sweet, uncaring about the ninja's dark past and missing voice. However once he found that the ninja was a dragon, and not just any dragon, a venomous one, everything broke apart. Dragons were a difficult kind. They had odd mating tendencies, or so everyone says. Since everyone is so afraid of them, dragons only mate with other dragons. Kotaro found that out the hard way why.

Eventually, he made up his mind. It was hard to, but he gathered all of his courage and walked over to where the ginger was sitting. The ninja must have been deep in thought, because he didn't realize the other until he had sat down next to him.

"Hey, Kotaro." Sasuke smiled, careful with what he said, not wanting to scare the other off. The redhead nodded at the words. The ginger was tempted to start a conversation before remembering that the other couldn't speak. He played with the sleeve of his sleeping kimono. (Since he had been too lazy to change he was still dressed in his ninja sleepy-time clothes.)

Kotaro slightly nudged the other with his elbow, pointing at the sunrise before making a slight heart-shape with his hands.

"The sunrise is pretty, isn't it?" Sasuke reclined back, holding himself up with his arms. The other nodded, trying hard to hide his joy. Someone actually knew what he was trying to say! Someone was talking with him!

Sarutobi looked over at the redhead, slightly smiling when he saw a smile on the other's face as well. "What do you think is prettier, the sunrise or sunset?" He asked before he could catch himself. How was Kotaro supposed to answer that? The redhead grinned slightly, his hand drawing out a two in the air. Two… "The sunset?"

Kotaro nodded, and, before his could compose himself, grabbed Sasuke's hands, pulling him close and into a hug. Realizing what he had done, the silent one let go quickly and set to scooting away. Sasuke was going to be angry. Fuma stood and made haste to get away from the other, he had to leave before Sasuke became angry with him.

Right before he was able to get away, the ginger shadow-shaded in front of the other. "Don't run off." He saw the other visibly flinch and pull his head down, as if waiting to be punched. "Hey," Sasuke took the other's hand in his, taking into account how it seemed to mold perfectly with his own. "It's fine. You didn't do a thing wrong, Kotaro."

The redhead seemed shocked that the other was being kind. Sarutobi slightly chuckled. "Poor guy, must've had a hard time if you think someone's gonna hit you just 'cause you hugged them." He ruffled the other's hair slightly, only causing the red hair to fall further into Kotaro's face. "Sorry." Sasuke moved the red locks of hair around slightly, putting the fallen parts back into place.

Kotaro patted the ginger's hand before leaving.

_Well, it was a good beginning… I think._

_**Sorry for any typos. My lapytop has been acting up lately and also I haven't typed a chapter of anything in a while… My computer can't keep up with how fast I type -.-**_


End file.
